Well, you did it! You are finally pregnant! You thought you were ready, but now reality has set in and you may be feeling overwhelmed and nervous. When you are trying to get pregnant you may be focused on how great it will be to have a little baby in your arms. You may be planning how you are going to decorate the baby room and how cute all of the baby clothes will be. However, once you are actually pregnant, you will have an over abundance of planning that ranges from how long you will be off work to who will watch your baby when you finally do go back to work.
We all know that pregnancy effects our emotions. You may be overwhelmed or become upset very easily. These are all common things that you will have to look forward to. But, many women do not talk about the fears and concerns that start to enter their minds when they realize that they are actually going to have a baby. I believe that women are socialized to only express the joy that they feel when they are experiencing parenthood for the first time. It is almost like they are taught to keep their fears and concerns to themselves. You may be worried about leaving your baby with a stranger when you return to work. You may be afraid that you really can not afford the baby. You may also be concerned that you will not have time for your friends anymore. All of these concerns and fears are normal. But, keeping them inside is not healthy for the mother or the unborn baby. Pregnant women need to be open and honest about their emotions and feelings. By doing so, they are able to make their fears and concerns real. Once the fears identified and verbalized they are easier to solve. The end result is decreased stress and more positive emotions related to their pregnancy.
Now that you have been able to identify and be honest about all of your fears and concerns, you need to be able to solve them and find effective ways to manage them. We often become fearful when we feel that we do not have any control. When we learn how to take control of our fears we decrease that feeling. We become empowered and strong. This decreases our stress and helps keep us emotionally healthy. In order to manage our fear we need to know how to solve our problems effectively. This takes an understanding of effective problem solving steps. I will briefly explain these steps in order to help you deal with your new parent fears and concerns.
The first step of problem solving involves identifying the problem. You need to be honest about your fear or concern and identify it as the problem. For example, if you are concerned about how you will pay for childcare you need to identify this as the problem. During the second step you need to set a positive goal. What do you want to achieve in order to feel better about this problem? You may want to set a goal that includes finding a daycare that you can afford. When you begin step three you need to determine how you can reach your goal and what are the consequences related to each of your options (if there are any consequences). You may need to start by identifying how much you can afford for daycare each month. Next, you will need to start contacting daycare centers in order to find out their prices. You may even want to think about family members that you can contact to help you out on certain days. When you are done thinking about all of your options and you have gathered all of the facts and information related to how to solve the problem you are ready to select the one that works the best and implement it. Remember, you set a goal very early on. Therefore, the solution you select should get you closer to your goal in order to decrease your stress and solve your problem.
The further along you get in your pregnancy the more concerns you may have. All of your concerns and fears are real to you no matter what other people say. Simply trying to ignore them will not make you feel better. They will not be decreased either. It is always best to identify, verbalize and solve your fears and concerns. By taking these simple steps you will be able to have a healthy pregnancy and you will be able to embrace being a new mother with your arms wide open because you know that you are prepared.
Please view my website and my book to learn more about new parent fears and how to decrease these fears while becoming prepared for parenthood.
